March 15, 2012 at 10:25pm
April 22, 2011 at 4:54pm
At my Desk
Me: May I have a new mouse? My mouse no longer scrolls.
[Without responding, CD walks away, comes back with Windex bottle, sprays directly onto mouse and all over me, rubs mouse with paper towel, sets it down, walks away]
Me: I’ve already tried cleaning it. Can you please just order me a new one?
CD: Maybe you need a mouse pad!
2:38pm
In the Kitchen, Interviewing a Candidate
CD: I’m the Creative..
Girl: Creative Director for Dove right?
CD: The Executive Creative..
Girl: That’s great.
CD: EXECUTIVE CREATIVE. Director. For technology.
March 29, 2011 at 2:42pm
In a Meeting
CD: Oh I’ve GOT IT!!
Me: Okay. What’s your idea?
CD: Check it OUT motherfuckers! Let’s release millions of colored bouncy balls in Grand Central and film them dramatically.
March 17, 2011 at 12:00pm
At the Bar
CD: We’re pitching some new business. It’s an underwear for men.
Me: What does that even mean?
CD: It means, BALLS OUT!!! [Grabs crotch] Would you like a drink?
December 30, 2010 at 12:25pm
At his desk
CD: This microphone is going to work great. Look at this thing, it’s great! [Places large, phallic object in crotch and aims at me]
Me: Wow. I’m not sure what to say.
CD: That was in your mind, not mine. Yours.
December 28, 2010 at 5:44pm
In the Elevator
CD: We need to talk about the Facebook tab. We’re going to make three videos that we’ll put up on the tab. Are you up for this? We need to shoot them today. Have you seen the scripts?
Me: I wrote them.
CD: Great, I’ll send them to you when I get back.
